This is quite an unusual post, in which I will just pour out some hopeless and pessimistic love and relationship analysis.
In the past, I’ve somehow always been stuck between the Soulmate Material, a true friend and trusted listener who knows me like the back of his hand, and the Clueless Lucky Guy, a clueless guy who knows little or nothing about me, a terrible listener, and would eventually break the trust we’ve built. The choices seem clear, but somehow I’ve always passed by the Soulmate Material and chose the Clueless Lucky Guy instead (hence the name). The outcome of the choices I made is also crystal clear: it never ends well, and even if I could have never chosen the Soulmate Material instead because I treasure our companionship too much, I eventually know who I should have chosen.
So when the wisdom of the age finally found me, I made it clear to myself that I need to steer clear from bad guys. Believe it or not, the first (few) impressions might be deceiving, but it isn’t that hard to identify Bad Guys Who I Should Never Date, as long as I am not trying too hard to deny the facts.
The problem now is what to do when I am (still) left with more choices. When the Soulmate Material 1.0 is about to cross my path again, I still have to watch out when the Soulmate Material 2.0 shows up in my life again, feeling all the same after all these years, and the Soulmate Material 3.0 have been doing everything he could to help me change, grow, and hope. It’s like all the roads not taken are there, and I don’t know which one to take a step towards. I am terrified of taking a chance, because I’ve already known how it turned out the last time.
Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything
Don’t you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
Cause love won’t set you free
I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be
Chii 