That’s what I should say, and finally could say. Sorry for hurting you so many times. Sorry for letting you down, and sorry for giving you up.
I thought about you more than I wrote to you. I used to wonder between us, who let go of each other first, what I was to you, and our memories. But none of those really matters now. I have never forgotten that I planned it from the first place. We are now where we’re supposed to be. I should have never blamed it on you, however hurtful it was.
And even if I could go back to that time, I would do the same, we would do the same, right? I hope so. I really do.
So today I wrote to you for the first time over one year. It is very likely that you would not even write back to me, or even read it. But to imagining you were here, or I were in those memories, it nearly drives me insane.
After all, I just want to say sorry. Part of me hopes that you would never write back, and we would never see each other again.